Kitty's Sanctuary

well I DID have a new job...but

I recently started working at a shit job in the chico mall, making decal stickers for people's car windows...really was already annoying me..anyway I got FIRED yesterday and then I happen to have an interview for a jewelery store in the mall, so I went there and was on time. BUT when I got there the guy made me wait 15 min. and then finaly came out to tell me that he had tried to call a couple times without luck. also that the reason he was calling wa because he had just filled in two positions for the place. WTF?!?!?!?!?! he gave me a time for an interview the day before and then not even wait 'till he's interviewed me, before he's hired someone else????????!!!!!! I don't think that's right at all!!!!!! *ahem* now that I've ranted about my shitty day yesterday I would like you all to know that I'm doing my first double date with my bf jamies and a couple friends we met a couple weeks prior. we're going to this restaurant called Pluto's and then seeing the movie coming out today, Resident Evil: Apocolypse! yayyyyyy

Posted 2004.10.09 10:11:00

k....my site was down..and I was too lazy to enter in my journal 'till now..

ok so I'm still lazy to even type a good journal entry..so sue me..geez..I feel like crap right now(too much coffee..and my high is down from it..)...and I'm getting ansy about james coming home in 18 days exactly in about 4.5 hours from now. my stomach keeps flopping inside at the thought (basicly "butterflies")and now I think I shall go..goodnight..for now..

Posted 2004.13.05 03:36:00

a poem from an article in my self-esteem book I'm reading...I was told to read it by my councelor at school......

Reasons,everyone wants reasons why I am the way I am.Honestly,I would like to know myself.I write about what hurts,what feels good,what makes me cry and what makes me feel. I don't know why:

I cry.
I'm screaming silently inside.
I'm happy for a moment and then I lose it.
I'm free to have my own opinions but I hold back.
I hate myself every time I look in the mirror.
I drown in my self-pity.
I do the opposite of binging, then feel so much guilt I can't move.
I am ashamed.
I hide from everything I fear.
I feel more than I can take.

And I just really want to know why I am unable to be whole. Was I born with a failure inside of me that doesn't allow me to change easily? I spend my days scared. What if I never change? What if there are no reasons at all? What if I am the way I am forever and there is nothing I can do about it. So I look for an answer to make the confusion go away. Everyday I wake up searching with only the hope that someday something will be found that will make this endless longing go away.

Have you ever wanted something so bad you couldn't breathe?

I can't breathe.

Posted 2004.28.04 20:43:00

it's too f*#@ing hot!! arrrgh

it's been 100 degrees today!!! gwarr I hate it.. I like temperatures from 60-80 not 90-100 �_�# but anyway there's nothing I can do about it but wear appropriate clothing and use fans and drink lots of cold fluids. blehh. but yah, annnd it's not even the first day of summer!! this ozone layer is depleting more and more each year..I swear..so I have my yoga final results this week.. we'll see what I get..I'm bored btw..yah..and I hope my bf comes online soon..and yah..anyway gonna go now..bye

Posted 2004.27.04 00:02:00

butterflies? or just weirdness? ah~ love!

there are only 8 days left in this month and then I'll be in the month that James comes home O_O it hasn't really hit me just yet, the angst of waiting and the emotions to come along with it, actualy correction, the angst has been with me this whole time, but I think once it hits May 1st, I'm gonna be feelin' pretty much all the emotions that come with being excited in the anticipation of the return of my sweetheart. What will be going through my mind when I reach that point? what will be going through James'? won't know 'till we reach that point in the semester I guess. :P but anyway as you may know or maybe not ^_^; James and I wished each other a "mini" happy anniversary on the 18th this month. "mini" because it's more than half way to 2 years since we started going together and dating! 1.5 to be exact. So yes I'm happy about that. -^_^-

Posted 2004.22.04 23:02:00

1month..less than 6 weeks...40 days..976 hours..58,560 minutes...3,513,600 seconds..

Yes those are the closest calculations I have um..calculated, 'till my Jamies will be home. YAY! hee hee I was bored so I calculated this. I am not obssessed or anything, I just needed something to do while I wait for him to come online. ^_^; anyway so I'm bored and stuff. Hope james comes on soon. he should be getting out of clas about now so yah. anyway ja ne!

Posted 2004.20.04 17:52:00

finals.. narrr gwarr arrrgh *dies*

next week is the end of April and the beginning of finals month, May. gwarr. I have a 20 min. routine to make for yoga, a graph for math, a heritage essay for reading, a paper on what I expect to come with my success in college for writing, and a spread sheet displaying how to balance a checkbook for cis. so yah that's my finals. how boring, except for the graph hehe. anyway gonna go ja ne!

Posted 2004.20.04 00:53:00

ok as oppose to my last post....

I am feeling better now. I had a talk with James and he made me feel better and relieved. There's no need to worry~ I'm not gonna jump off a cliff or step in front of a moving vehicle. ^_^;;;;; I never even thought of those in the first place! hah! no no I know that's nothing to joke about. seriously. I would never do such stupid and selfish things. Anyway, I just want all who reads my journal that I am alright. nothing's going to happen that would be bad in any way. So on a lighter note, it's going to be easter this weekend! I found my fluffy bunny tail and my bunny ears, maybe I'll just wear them around the house that day. ^_^;; SO I'M WEIRD! That's not a bad thing! if I were too normal, I'd be boring. anyway, gonna go make food, Kitty hasn't eaten all day :P ja ne!

Posted 2004.06.04 16:46:00

Alright...I can't take it anymore!

I'm sick! I'm sick of being here!! I don't want to be in this house! I don't want to be around my parents!! or garrett! 'bout the only thing I can stand here is my dog annie...I'm getting really sick of getting sick..from all the stress!! GOD!!! *sigh*....I can't wait until james comes home!!!! I'm sorry if I sound like a little kid...but I've been penting up things that I need said...someway...and since I'm too shy to directly tell this to friends online..I'm writing it here. I know that it's bad to hold things in. James tells me to say something if there IS anything bothering me..so I am�_`�...James is coming home next month...I'm feeling anxious more than anything about it. But I'm also feeling nervous oddly enough. Guess it's just butterflies.You know, being in a long distance relationship IS hard. I won't lie about that. But I know James and I can make it through this. We have so far, so I know we can for the rest of the semester 'till I can see him again. Our love is too great for each other to just let it all go because of being away from each other for a while!! anyway...I don't know why I needed to say that just now..it's obvious we love each other a whole lot.anyway....I'm gonna end this one for now...the entry that is...bye

Posted 2004.06.04 01:25:00

tomorrow is the holiday I hate most..April Fool's

Why do I hate it? I hate April Fool's because it's a waste of a holiday in my opinion. What's the point in making other's lives miserable by playing jokes? I don't care about it, but hate it because being kinda gullable, I am vulnerable to the pranks more. So it sucks. That's it.That's all I have to say about it. End of story. Anyway I had my mid-term for my English reading class. I think I did alright. I hope so. It was basicaly questions on the novel called "Plainsong". Which we also did a book report on and was due today too. I know I could have done just a little better on my book report, but I think I did a good job. Anyway that's about all the news I have for now. ja ne.

Posted 2004.31.03 23:25:00

random

Konnbanwa minna. It's yet another day over..well almost. In 3 hours from now :P anyway, I am bored so I am typing my ramblings on my journal, since my sweetie is hisogashi (= busy) with his forum and helping me with my site. ^_^ and since I have SOOOOO much time on my hands, I calculated the day to which it will be halfway through James' semester and mine. This friday March 26th, will be James' halfway point, and mine will be on March 30th. sooo tired. it's a long couple weeks for me.. I can't wait until spring break! then I can relax a little more...hopefuly. And what I'm really looking forward to is crashing on a comfy couch or futon or bed..or..heck even the floor! with james laying next to me~ that'll be the highlight of the day. hehe *cough* I really miss having his arm to hold onto, his warm smile smiling at me, his gorgeous eyes looking at me, and his warmth surrounding me. ;_; when will may 31st come here?! whennn?? I want it to come fasterrrrrr. *sigh*....

*doesn't feel like signing*

Posted 2004.23.03 21:38:00

latest with everybody

Another week and one left until April. Time flies when you're cramming for midterms like my boyfriend james. ^_^ ok~ sorry for the sarcasm. Anyway things are going slow as far as my schoolwork is concerned. of course, I've had to turn in a lot of big projects recently so it's understandable. :P I'm still thinking of james and missing him, but I just keep looking foward to his homecomming and remember he loves me, then everything's alright. *giggle* jamies has two presents for me that I know of! I feel so special! *giggle* I can't wait to see them! more importantly I can't wait to be in jamies' arms again~<3 ^-^ well I think that about wraps it up for this one. matta ne~ bai bai.

Posted 2004.23.03 00:46:00

I'm feeling more genki now~

I talked to jamies~~ and~ everything is just great with us. and~ I loooove him. and- and yah! -^-^- lemme see now..I have 1..2...3,4....5 presents for jamies! w00t! I will give at least 3 of them to him in person in May. and the other two I will mail! ^_^ :D___ it's gonna be a year and a half for our relationship next month on April 18th~~ *giggles with excitement* *//-//* yep yep yep! I'm so lucky to have james *sigh of lovey dovey-ness* Jamesu wa..watashi no tenshi desu yo~ <3 *giggle* -^^-I get to talk to james online today!! yayyyy!

Posted 2004.21.03 12:18:00

missing boyfriend..school is..ok...missing boyfriend...I'm not hungy as much these days..and missing boyfriend..

ok as if the title werem't OBVIOUS, I miss jamies. I have said it a hundred times and a hundred times over..I..MISS..JAMES!!I want him to come hoooooome. Or I want to visit him.can you blame me?! I'm his girlfriend, his koibito. I'll say it. his soulmate! How can I NOT miss him as much as I do?? demo; we're almost there! it's halfway through the semester April 1st!!(March 31st my time zone)so I have to be genki, ne? I love him so so much. I miss my sweetie jamies. I know he feels the same about me. *daydreams*........................................u-uuuh..huh? what? wha-? oh yah.anyway, I'm gonna go busy myself with..um..something. while I wait to hear from him. ja ne!

Posted 2004.17.03 20:17:00

THE COUNTDOWN- bum bum bum~! COUNTER!

I have it!! wh33333~! Jamies made me the counter that will count down to the day hour minute AND second he gets home!!! w00t!! I love him soooooo much! ^___^ he was so nice to make this for me. you probably will see it right when you visit my main page. It is at the bottom. "James will return from Japan in: DD,HR,MIN,SEC" It's really just a gift he made for me, but we can ALL count down I guess :P

Posted 2004.08.03 23:12:00

DSL! DSL! yayyyyy DSL! yayyyyy ^______________^

We got our DSL equipment in the mail yesterday!!! finaly!! we've been waiting a month! Now we just need to get it set up, and networked to all the comp. in the house..might be hard. James gave my mom some tips so I'm sure *something* will work. My boyfriend is a very smart guy, so any info he can give us is good. ^_^ I took some pictures today at school for him, and I will be sending it to him when I come online after my class is over. Today I bought some incense at school for my little japanese shrine above my bedroom closet ;

Rose
Jasmine
Vanilla
Pine
Strawberry
Noph Champa (not sure how to spell it)
and a couple others that have naughty names ( to show Jamies ^_~)

Anyway, I talked to Jamies online yesterday! wh333333~<3! for 5 HOURS!!! We talked about school, other things that have been happening, I gave him the good news about the DSL~ and how our health was. My poor sweetie is sick with a cold ;_; I hope he gets better. *gives him soup and lots of love* Well the first month of school is over and I am relieved. I'm also anxious about the 3 months left before the semester is over. I've been getting mostly A's, which feels weird to me. Especialy considering when I was in highschool, I was getting C'S down to F's. I guess highschool just wasn't for me? meh, who knows and besides, what matters is that schoolwork is going well with me, ne? I'm gonna go now, gotta go to ENGL class..

Posted 2004.03.03 16:41:00

VTA company sucks!

My mom is getting me bus passes for each month, of the 4 months I'm staying with her and my brother while I go to school at EVC. Last time I needed a bus monthly bus pass here, it was $22. they charge $52.50 now!!!! that's highway robbery I tell you!! but it probably has to do a good deal with the gas prices in the last few weeks. The two stations next to my house are $2.07 a gallon. And then on the news yesterday I heard them say the bay area gas prices were gonna be raised to $3 ?! I swear it's gonna be like "you can only drive this and this day" man..

Posted 2004.02.03 20:03:00

*sighhh*March 1st...should I be happy?

Tomorrow is March 1st. I am happy becuase it's just 3 more months until I am with my James again. I am sad I guess..because I want to visit him for White Day and his spring break..but that is going to be impossible unless by some miracle I get the money, or I can get a cheap flight on a military plane. Technicaly I *AM* a dependent of a disabled veteran, so I should be able to get the cheap flight..but it's probably more complicated than I want. I don't want to sound greedy or anything, but I seriously feel it's unfair that I can't visit him..I miss him like crazy and every night I dream of him being next to me..only to wake up and realize it really was all just a dream..that he is still in Osaka. I am so anxious for him to come home, but I feel like I won't know what to say or do when I'm watching him come through security at SFO. I can immagine myself getting all paralyzed with an overdose of emotion, and then next thing you know he's standing right next to me..holding me..whispering "I'm home" into my ear. And me; just standing there..and after a few seconds finaly responding. "Okaeri..Jamies."

Posted 2004.29.02 15:37:00

countdown counter

Ok~ I know this is gonna seem silly and girly of me, but I'm gonna try and find a countdown counter, to count down the days until I see my darling in the end of may. I AM girly you say?? It IS silly of me?? ok well bash me upside the head with Sai's fan if you have to! I don't care! :P I am gonna be girly and silly! so there. ahaha *ahem* until I do find a counter, it's 3 months and 2 weeks exactly from tomorrow. That's the detailed version. I could just say 3 more months since today is a month james has been in japan. But whatever..I still miss him just the same.

Posted 2004.23.02 19:47:00

A few updates,opinion of school, and cherry blossoms

There are some slight changes to the site; the scrolling text at the bottom of the "About Me" page has been changed to normal instead of 133t. Thanks to my Boyfriend. ^_^ And what's Kitty's latest opinion of school?? I think it's alright, but I would love it even more if it was at school in japan, so I could be near my james..But I have no choice in the matter! so oh well. As for the weather here it is cloudy today with some wind and hasn't been too cold. The one sakura(cherry tree) on my street has bloomed! and when I went out the door there was a big gust of wind, which made a lot of the newly formed blossoms to scatter across the street. "Kirei~" I said to myself. And now I am awaiting another week of school starting tomorrow. I am happy to be learning again, but when I get home, after the various homework assignments are done, I lay back on my futon and remember it's another day gone, another step closer to seeing my sweetie!^_~

Posted 2004.16.02 15:23:00

MY VALENTINE'S/PRESIDENT'S DAY WEEKEND THUSFAR

well on Friday James called me to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day! We talked for a WHOLE HOUR!!! *giggles hystericaly* It was so niiice. I loved it so much!! -^_______^- and then on yesterday I had the nicest AIM chat with jamies too! ^____^ He really makes me so happy!! I love him with alllll my <3 (heart,silly hobbitses) I made james another really nice present to give him when we rush to each others arms at SFO. He doesn't know what it is, but I think he'll like it ^_~ (it's artsy AND practical)The best kind! ^__^ actualy the ultimate gift, he'll get when we're back at the house in santa cruz -^_~- eheheheh *cough* na-nandemounai!! *runs in circles and smacks into a wall* :P ^_^;;; atashi wa hennano, ne?~~ Anyway, I hope everything is going well with my Jamies and everyone this weekend ^_^

Ja ne~ minna-san~~!

Posted 2004.15.02 19:06:00

VALENTINE'S DAY♥

What can I say about V-day...um..it's the first one that my jamies and I won't be able to spend with each other physicaly since we've been together?..I don't care much about getting candy..I just want so much to be around james on a date or not even that! I just want him by my side..to cuddle and snuggle with..(and to play with)I know I can celebrate it anytime with him (which is what he has planned when he gets back)...but *sigh* it's hard to explain..I sent him gifts to emphasize my devotion,love and apprectiation of him. All the things he's done for me, and what we've been through together. I know jamies and I will continue as lovers, for years to come! *bluuush* at least..that's my wish..what I want..you know what, he said that's what he wants too, so everything is alright, ne? un.. I hope he comes online after his class today..*crosses fingers*

I don't know what else to say,
so this is the end of the entry

Ja ne~!

Posted 2004.12.02 19:29:00

OVER..

The first week of school is over for me and my boyfriend James. It sounds like James had a less of a hard time than me with the first week. I had the hardest time trying to get my new "life's schedule" in order. Buying books, talking with teachers, registering getting use to the new surroundings etc. Personaly I hope school won't be too hard..that would suck. but if it ends up being that way, which it probably will, I am going to stick to it! I as well as jamies & his parents, plus my mom, have gone through a lot to get me here. So I had damn well better make the most of it and stick with it, right? right. um..*sigh* let's see...ack!!! james signed off from AIM without saying bye... ;_; I hope it was because of low batteries.. well I'm gonna call him later tonight, and hopefuly he'll be there. :( I love him so much..I feel bad about these pictures I was suppose to send him awhile ago..I am going to try and get my webcam to record video...maybe videos will look better than the crappy pics from my old digital camera. He said I looked great, but the resolution sucked. So hopefuly I will get the cam to work tonight.. damn the bad technology I have and damn the distance from here to osaka...I wanted to hug and kiss james so much tonight!!! *sob* *blows into a tissue* *sniff* I miss him so much...James if you read this, please forgive me for tonight's weird conversation on AIM...I wished it had gone better..at least from my part anyway...Everything is alright, the relationship is alright, and you still love me of course. Is what I imagine you telling me right about now..*kisses james* I miss my sweet jamies..I can't wait until we're in each others arms in may. Just 3 months and 3 weeks left..soon enough we will be. that's what I gotta keep telling myself. I hope james likes his presents from me..wonder if he got the other half of his v-day stuff(honmei cardo and bagu)Well I guess this will be the end of this entry..maybe I'll enter later tonight..so yah...

lonesome KITTY

Posted 2004.07.02 21:55:00

MISSING YOU ALREADY

Well James is in Osaka, Japan now.It was so hectic friday morning when we were on our way to San Francisco. Here's the deal: We had to wake up at 5am friday morning, and leave by 6:30 to get to the japanese consolate for james' visa that he couldn't get the day before, because he didn't have the contact number they didn't tell him ahead of time he needed. So then we got that and went straight to SFO(San Fransicisco International)airport. When we got there, we tagged his bags and waited for his dad to get yen for spending. Next We headed to the bathroom and to get some traveler's checks(which they were out of~ >_<) So we went straight to the security line and took a few pictures with james' digital camera. We said our goodbyes, wherein I just balled and couldn't stop for a few minutes. James just stroked my face and I looked at his which had a look that showed he understood how I felt because he felt the same.(sadness, stress, hope, excitement, and the love that will keep us together forever.)We walked him to the end of the line and I gave him one more hug before I had to let him go for 4 whole months..BUTI know he's thinking of me even when he's busy, and I know he loves me very much. We will see each other at the end of may. I hope he puts all his pictures he takes on his web journal ^_^ James I miss you already sweetie. James, if you read this, please contact me via e-mail (the new one MahouKitty_???)<-your 3 numbers reversed from jww??? or on aim or my mom's cell phone number(I left a message at the Center of International Education building. They said they would leave the message with the cell number in your mailbox)BTW jamies sweetie, gomenasai. I was trying desperately to call you using the phone card last night and I'm afraid I used up some of the minutes..I don't understand why it charged me when I couldn't even get the call to work. Anyway, James, my mom says that we should have the phone and DSL back in a month or so!! (around march 10th for your time I think)I hope we can get it sooner! *cross your fingers* ok well I'll leave it at that and check in at home in a bit. James, I love you so much sweetie. Be safe, hope you're having fun and I'll hear from you hopefuly soon.

Posted 2004.25.01 17:51:00

HOW WAS EVERYONE'S THANKSGIVING?

I had a great week with James and his family in Santa Cruz, for Thanksgiving. I must admit, it was the first one where I wasn't stressed *EVER*. Yah, so I felt very happy this week and it's all thanks to james and his nice family. I feel so gosh dang happy inside since james is with me, which brings up something; James and I had our *1st ANNIVERSARY*!! YAY! ~T__T~that was in october. James got accepted to Kansai Gaidai University in Osaka, Japan and will be leaving end of January. ;_; I'm going to really miss him for those four months but, we love each other so much and that gives me strength. It's not going to be totaly miserable, we'll communicate on the phone(occasionaly)write e-mails and snail-mail, also chat on AIM and use webcams. I'll let james know everyday I talk to him, how much I love him and can't wait to see him in May. *embarrasment-giggle* Listen to me rambling on...Now is the time to live in the present with james, instead of thinking of the months ahead, right? Well I don't know what else to say right now, talk to you all later!

Posted 2003.29.11 17:37:00

LAME~~....LATHARGIC

Blahhhhhhh....as Brak of Space Ghost Coast to Coast would say. I've had a weird week...DON'T WANNAbut I gotta talk about it...psh. Firstly I have been in a weird mood lately...because of holidays I guess..*sigh*someone I know would hate to hear me say that, 'cause he hates excuses. I don't mean to say excuses...it's just the only way I think I was taught to speak to people. I should thank MY PARENTSfor that. I try to make my boyfriend soooo happy, and he says "you do make me happy. you make me happy everday."But I know I screw up a LOT. In any case, I think maybe I should just find a PSYCHIATRIST and ask for medication. nothing else helps...

Posted 2003.14.11 19:31:00

Hall o' wes eve

Did everyone have a happy halloween? I know I did! James and I were picked up by james' friend, Jay, and then we went to the MARTIAL ARTS FRAT house. It was great! They said there wasn't going to be any alcohol, but when we went out back, there was booze all over the place plus soda and food. We spent the night meeting new people, playing some DDR and getting tipsy, so all an' all it was really fun. Oh! mustn't forget about !COSTUMES!I dressed as a fox-girl, james was suppose to be a bunny but he went as a vampire instead (which I loved just as much ^_~), and our friend matt was Shinji Ikari. After a long night of party, games, cuddling with james and booze we headed back to the apt. and sacked out. ^_^

Posted 2003.06.11 16:50:00

FANIME JUNE 20-22

It's over. Another year of planning and sewing and going crazy gone by.FANIME 2003!It was an interesting experience this year..I don't have a lot to say about it..um ..yah.. james got the head of GAINAX's autograph! that made his weekend. I hope all my friends who went and james too, had fun. That's all I'll say for now, bye-bye

KITTY

/\___/\
|+ _ +|
|  o  |
 <>O<> 
( ) ( )

Posted 2003.09.07 16:42:00

SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

Can someone save me from this?? my parents have been gone for a week and I can't take anymore of this 'babysitting'my brother! argh! I'm not really babysitting him but he acts so immature, what else should I call it?...*sigh* any way..I'm here in my room typing in an entry mostly because I'm bored...and not many people visit this site..probably 'cause it's hard to find..hmm maybe I should change the name? oh well..don't mind my ranting on like this..really...why are you still reading..aw nevermind..

Kitty wants some love..

Posted 2003.25.04 22:04:00